Pumpkins and Gnats

Hey. I know its been a few days since my last blog but its been a busy, busy week! Alex started the week in his new class at daycare and is adjusting well with it. Some rough patches but he has been doing okay. And I have been working and working, happy that our trip is now offically only two weeks away. My "peeps" up in Atlanta are getting excited and we are talking on daily basis about plans and things. My beads for my new jewelry business arrived today was happy with some and not pleased with others, and one thing, the wire, was MIA(kind of an important thing) so had to mad dash to the store and pay retail(hate that). So this week Ill be completing samples and posting the pics to the facebook page and counting down days till the trip:)
On another note Alex and I took a trip to a Pumpkin Patch this afternoon I was super excited about and Alex , of course, not so much. I took as many pictures as I could many of them of a not so excited nor happy baby. Maybe next year he will enjoy it a little more. We picked out two pumpkins one orange and a pretty white one(albino????dont know what its called) and have placed them on the front steps of the house.All the halloween decorations are up except the skeleton garland that goes over the front door..that will be done soon...love that fall is upon us but hate that it was in the 90's today...was Hot up in that patch....and there were gnats lots of gnats..damn gnats

Crazy Dreams and Skipping Church

So. Alex and I didnt get up till 10:30 this morning. He had a fitful night which is very much every night. His tirade of lung and breathing problems caused by acid reflux makes many a night full of tears(both for baby and Mama). So, we didnt really get to sleep till the wee morning hours....when I finally went to Dreamland... I enetered the portal to my grandmother's "Mimi" large house. A place that was such a fixture of my childhood in which I havent stepped foot in for many years now. In the dream I walked through those familar rooms and noticed that some things had been rearranged and some were missing. I was very upset about this fact in my dream. Maybe because I hadnt been there while the change was happening or the fact that things were not exactly as I remebered them. Then I went upstairs and the bedroom that I had always slept in was just like I remebered it, I walked through inhaling the smell of the room. Remembering. See, a little background here my Mimi is in a care facility and I havent seen her in over two years now since right before I found out I was pregnant with Alex. When i became pregnant with Alex it was decided that Mimi would not be told due to her dementia and it may be upsetting to her having to be explained over and over why her unmarried grand daughter was pregnant( we live in the South things are very oldfashioned here) Then Alex was born and certain family members were not happy with him being mixed race and pretty much that part of my life was sealed away and put in my past. I guess the dream was sad to me because when I awoke I realized that that place was one that I may never see again in real life. Or people who i love who will never meet Alex. Its sort of a sad situation all around. And because of that dream we overslept and missed church..thats my story God and Im sticking to it!

Excitment and diapers

So excited I cannot even contain myself!!!!!!!!! Im will be going up to Atlanta Oct.15th-17th. to visit family and friends. Or I should say family cause my friends are so much apart of mine and Alex's life that they are family. I have been going through the day to day actions of a single mother for so long it is nice to have something for Alex and I to look forward to. At least for a couple of days I wont have to think about when bills are due and lack of money and the fact that I have yet to recieve a penny of court ordered child support.(more on that at a later date) How are you paying for this mini vacation? you may ask...my father has offered to pay for gas, we are staying at a friend's, and taking a car that is my uncle's, and we are not eating out...Yes. I have felt guilty that any offers of money I get(that sounded kind of bad) should go straight to bills. But I work in retail so will be unable to go see family for the Holidays and my sweet, dear nephew is facing a major surgery and am glad that Alex will be able to see him(and me too of course:))  So enough jsutifying my actions...single motherhood is a constant justyfing of actions...justyfing my choice to family and perfect strangers why I decided to have and raise Alex...yes the circumstances could have been better, but I got Alex, the best gift in my whole,entire life..single motherhood and motherhood in general is all a big juggling act...Ive got to juggle money and make it stretch FARRRR, I have to juggle time and find ways to fit everything in(even showers), I have to juggle my emotions its easy to get frustrated but not let it get to me...But this trip like many things I have been doing this past year is because Alex and I are a real bonafide family! Eventhough there is no Daddy in the picture, we are a little,functional,normal family. I want Alex to have memories of a childhood that is rich in tradition,laughter, and most of all LOVE..even if I have to pay a few late fees on the bills to make it happen....oh and diapers....there is an open letter to Alex's daycare below...feel free to read:)

Dear Alex's Daycare,
We love you, we really do. You have nutured Alex while I have been at work since he was six weeks old and usually there are no issues. Last week I dropped off a good amount of Huggies brand diapers put some in his cubby and the rest in the closet..yes I didint put his name on them I forgot but since there are only two kids(Alex included) that wear size threes in that room I felt it would be okay. This week I get notice that he was out of diapers...what? I ask if the Huggies were still in the closet and one teacher said if they werent in there they must have used them...how did they go through 100 Huggies I dunno but I can tell you if it was Walmart brand diapers it would have never happened.
Love to ya,
Alex's mama